At the time of writing this blog post I have emigrated to the other side of the world, had two kids, been married, seperated, became bankrupt, avoided jail, ended up on house arrest, met someone else, had another kid and now sit here writing this post. My Life is madness.
Let’s start back in 2004. I was working at an outdoor education facility as a coordinator, travelling around the country (UK) training new instructors for the company. It is here that I met my future wife. When she arrived in early 2005 I was swept off my feet by her, she was exotic and from a country on the other side of the world to me. We just clicked. We both left the outdoor education company at the end of 2005 and moved back to my home city. I started working as a teacher/tutor and she worked in an ad management company. In 2008 our first child was born. It was at this point that we decided moving to her home country would be good for our family. So at the end of 2008 we emigrated to New Zealand. It was hard for me for the first few years because I had absolutely no family or friends here and I had to acclimatize to living here. Then in 2010 our second child was born. In 2012 I started a degree in teaching to become an elementary school teacher. I completed the degree in 2014 and started a full time teaching job in 2015. I forgot to mention we got married in 2013. Years passed by.
Then at the beginning of 2018 the world came crashing in on me. The wife had in my opinion become unfaithful and we had the chat to end it. She didn’t want to try and fix it. I moved into the garage, where I lived for a few weeks until I got my own place. Upon getting my own place I was handed the burden of all our joint debts and I decided to file for bankruptcy. For the next few months I used Tinder and met some real lovely ladies, just not what I was looking for though, so I kept searching. Later in the year I hit the Tinder jackpot in finding my current partner.
Later in 2018 I also began being risky and committed some felony grade crimes that saw me having to attend court for many months into 2019 to finally being sentenced to 2 years in jail, which was conferred to a lesser sentence of house arrest for 5 months as it was my first offence. This was a period where my mania was at its absolute worst, major psychosis spells.
In November 2019 my third child was born. At time of writing I haven’t met her yet as I am still on house arrest. It’s really heartbreaking to not hold her. Hopefully, they will visit this Friday.
Looking at today, I sit here with a lack of hope and a sense of nervousness. I have no job. I struggle to make ends meet and the outlook for me is grim. I have a criminal record, a mental illness and a degree that is now worthless. I have to start from fresh and I don’t know how I will cope with that. I feel like am constantly on fight or flight as I have no friends anymore nor do I have any of my family here to talk to. If I make one mistake am homeless or not able to eat.
Sorry for the morbid post, it helps me to write things down to identify parts of my life that have gone wrong. Anyone else out there have a similar life narrative that they want to share!