Do you ever feel like a misfit?
Everything inside you is dark and twisted…– Ava Max – So Am I
Feel like am currently going through an existential crisis whereas I feel I have no place on this planet and I don’t have an identity. I observe that most people have a pretty solid identity, they have a job, a purpose for their lives, a meaningful social life and feel loved. I on the other don’t have these. Due to having a criminal record as a result of a significant manic episode I now live my life as a struggle. I receive state benefits. I usually go two days a week without eating as I cannot afford to feed myself after I have spent the money on food and lunch boxes for my kids and I cannot afford to do any travelling whatsoever (Which isn’t too much of a worry as am currently on House Arrest).
For the past month or so I have been trying to rebuild my mind and find something I could do career wise. All my past experiences and degree are now irrelevant as my criminal record doesn’t allow me to go back into that career path. It also doesn’t allow me to enter any government jobs or jobs that involve a criminal record check. So on that information you can see I am quite restricted, hence don’t really have any identity or purpose at the moment.
Is anyone else in a similar situation, or maybe you have been in the past. What are some of the things you did to get your identity and purpose for life back?