Suicidal Ideation has been at the forefront of my mind for the past two weeks. Every-time there is a break in my mind a little, nasty, thought of killing myself creeps in to take away the nice thoughts I was having. The suicidal thoughts tend to focus on how I have ruined my career, hurt many people and I just want it to end. Each thought makes me feel like I have hit rock bottom.
The lorazepam suppresses the thoughts ever so slightly, plus having my kids with me puts a stop to the thoughts, my only worry being when they are gone. I am unemployed due to my bipolar and live alone for the majority of the week. I have no friends to talk to, my only friend being my defiant mind that is trying to see me off.
How do you guys deal with the thoughts?