I am writing this blog post with a pain in the ass hand tremor, it seems to get worse when I am anxious.
So over the past week I have suffered ever possible emotion/mood. When I am home alone, I suffer with anxiety and paranoia and when I am around other people I feel a bit of social anxiety. It has also affected my appetite, I have none, I could go the whole day without eating, just drinking. I have lost weight because of it, which is the only positive I can take from it.
At its height I was close to having a full on panic attack. This happened during a dinner when I was with my partner and her family. I ordered a wonderful looking rib eye steak meal, which I didn’t eat. After I finished my two mouthfuls I began to feel dizzy and broke out in a sweat, I could hear in my head everyone’s chatter around me. I fought so hard to fight it back, and fight it back I did. I didn’t manage to finish my meal but I lessened my anxiety and was able to socialise and function at this dinner.
This post may be a bit jumbled because I am currently rapidly cycling between depression and mania. The mania only lasts about ten minutes at best, the depression obviously winning that battle.
I am considering asking my psychiatrist if I can come off all my medications as I feel it’s the medications that are making me depressed. Has anyone else gone off medications? what are your experiences?