First up, sorry I haven’t added any content in a wee while I have been in the bipolar spiral.
You probably haven’t heard that term before, Bipolar Spiral, that’s because I just made it up. It basically sums up my mood/general wellbeing over the past few days.
On a good day I get up, have a coffee, eat breakfast and chew through any jobs that I have to do. I’ll probably be feeling depressed during most of the day, but get better generally at night when I know bedtime is near and I can start another day.
Then there is the bad days, these have been too frequent over the past few days. Basically, I get up, have a coffee, eat no breakfast and sit with all the curtains closed watching netflix documentaries. Currently, watching Outside Man at the moment, it’s pretty good. Now on these bad days I suffer from what I can only say is crippling anxiety and paranoia. I don’t want to leave the house, I get scared of doing basic chores like getting the shopping in, etc.
So that’s what I mean by the Bipolar Spiral. Many different moods in one day, feeling of impending doom, you know just having a right crappy ole day.
Today I feel good, fingers crossed it remains. I have done all my chores and the curtains are open. Today feels better than yesterday and that is all I can ask for these days is simple wins like that.
I will attempt to make more of an effort to post updates, it all depends on which part of the spiral I am at. Currently, I am sitting in the middle of it and climbing.