Yesterday at 8am the police came with a search warrant. My kids and I were sitting watching TV, ready to go to school. You see I made a grave mistake a while ago, not paying for items I ordered through my employer, as well as selling other items belonging to them. Basically, I fucked up on a grand scale.

Following the execution of the search warrant I was arrested and taken back to custody for questioning. Two hours after questioning I was released. I plead guilty to all the charges. I go to court on Monday.

As a result my bipolar mania has heightened to a dangerous level, I am in constant suicidal thoughts and these thoughts are scaring me. My mind cannot focus, even writing this blog I am struggling and keep moving off to do other tasks. I find myself walking around thinking of which way would be easiest.

At 10am today I called my local crisis service as I don’t trust what I may do to myself, since I am all alone at the moment. I may be admitted into the hospital as an inpatient, who knows.

Here’s hoping that I pull through this mentally challenging period. Has anybody else been in trouble with the police when in a manic episode?