I think I really enjoyed the manic mood phase in my bipolar, sure I did some crazy things, such as amass over $60,000 of debt, go bankrupt and cause a marriage to end. But at-least I was happy and productive. Now that my psychiatrist seems to have got me on the correct medication to manage my mood (Lithium & Olanzapine) I feel just below what I would say is a normal mood.
I feel slightly depressed, not-hugely depressed, just a little bit that is enough to make me not want to do anything. There is washing hanging on the line, clothes yet to be put away, kids rooms to be cleaned. The list just goes on. When I was manic I would have had all these done within an hour. Today though I just sit here thinking about them, hoping that by some magic a fairy comes and does them all for me.
I forgot what it was like to be normal, it sucks in my opinion. I would rather be slightly manic all the time so I have energy and drive. Does anyone else have a similar experience they would like to share?