As a consumer of Bipolar I and an emergency ambulance officer I get to see a wide range of people from a lot of different backgrounds. Most of the calls I have attended that involved those suffering from a mental illness live alone. That to me is scary. Why, because I too live alone most of the time. Sure I have a partner, she lives 100km+ away and two kids who stay with me on Wednesday and Thursdays plus alternative weekends. That leaves a few days were it’s just me and my thoughts.
On my alone days I could either be suffering from mania, cleaning and organising everything in my house and being super productive, or I could be in the mood I am in right now which is just a blah mood. When I am in these blah moods I become very reclusive, I keep all the curtains closed and doors locked and generally just sit there on my laptop trying to write stuff or research stuff.
I once had friends. They vanished once I had my mental breakdown early in the year, I haven’t heard much from them. Only one of my friends stays in touch and visits me on occasions. So I usually just sit in loneliness, thinking about how crap my life had become. It’s still a little bit crap, it will just take a job to get me back on track and a big move to my partners region.
My only worry about moving to another region is my kids. I won’t be able to have them during the week as their school is too far from where I would move. I have thought about staying where I am and just doing the one hour and thirty minute commute twice daily, that’s doable right?
I went off on a bit of a tangent there. So the mental health team here have organised for me to have my own case worker who catches up with me weekly, first appointment is in half an hour. His job is to make sure I am going good on my medications and life in general.
For the others out there who suffer with loneliness, what are some of the things you do to fight it off?