Photo by Josh Bean on Unsplash

Today marks my sons 11th birthday! I have kept him alive, healthy and happy for eleven whole years – what an accomplishment. Oh and Happy Birthday to him.

Interesting how my Bipolar has been for the last few days knowing that it’s his birthday. I have had constant thoughts racing through my head, things like “Will he like the gift” and “What if he doesn’t like it”. I have consistently been doubting myself, especially now that money is tight due to my mental breakdown a month ago which left me unemployed and hospitalised. His mother and I separated about 19 months ago, only a few more months and we can get our divorce…I cannot wait.

Even sitting her now at 10:49am on my laptop, both my kids at school I am pondering whether I should get some extra stuff for him…like make him a cake or something. I just never feel like what I have done is enough.

When he comes home we are going to play some Fortnite together, he loves that game and really enjoys it when we play together. I like to keep a close eye on him when he plays those games. Personally, I have found Fortnite that be amazing for him. It has developed his communication and social skills and his ability to identify the shapes, etc that he is building.